"I don't do it by myself"

I don’t do it by myself. I am not SuperMom. I have met a lot of women I admire for MANY different reasons: those who work and still take care of their families, those who “stay-at-home” and do it 24 hours a day, grandmas who not only enjoy their lives but are there to take care of enjoy their children and grandchildren, even young single women who take classes, work, and still manage to take care of themselves and friends around them.

Well, I don’t do it by myself. I am a “stay-at-home” Mom. I use this term loosely because we are not “at home”very much…and as I watch others I realize that as my boys get older I won’t be “at home” very much at all.

I LOVE MY LIFE!!! I have a husband who loves me for WHO I am…and loves me enough to encourage me to continue striving to be the woman God is calling me to be. My husband has worked hard as long as I have known him. This was instilled in him by his father. When Scott and I met (the second time…after we both finished at SFA) I was teaching 7^th graders in Corsicana, Texas. Scott had just finished his first year of dental school when we started our lives together. It was NOT easy to go through grad school and we watched in awe as friends around us were married and had children. We married the summer before Scott’s final year of dental school. I taught in SanAntonio for the few years I lived there and after we were married (we moved in together…because regardless of what you might think…we are pretty old fashioned) we lived on my teaching salary and Scott’s student loans. We had a GREAT TIME! We also promised each other we would be “married” for a while before we through kids into the mix…we had a little thing we called “the three year plan.” Which started OVER after our first three years of marriage. ;) I say all of this to let you know that we did things different than some…we took things really slow…we opened our hearts and moved where God wanted to take us and we took time settling in. When we moved to Groves over 5 years ago I began teaching at Hamshire-Fannett Middle School. I LOVE TEACHING!!! I worked hard (during a difficult time in my life) to earn my degree…and I have always taken pride in the fact that “I can take care of myself.” This long drawn out story is to inform those of you who do not know that I do NOT do it by myself. My husband works VERY hard so I don’t have to. This is not just something that he does in his career, he works just as hard in our home.

You see…I LOVE being “Momma” to Tyson and “Baby Mike.” I can not imagine doing anything else in my life at this point. But, I am not SuperMom…I have help…LOTS and LOTs of help. For starters…in case you didn’t pick up on the fact that I married an incredible man…I DID. He is SO hands-on. Scott (from day one) has helps with feedings, changes diapers, kept the cradle on his side of the bed, does bath time at night, uuhhmmm….HE COOKS DINNER!!! (and he likes it). And then, we pay for Mother’s Day Out…this is what I like to call “a little piece of heaven.” Tyson gets to play with other kids and learn about the Lord at the same time…and Momma “gets a break.” That “break” has turned into time to spend with “Baby Mike.” and I TREASURE this time. When we were preganant with Tyson we were having trouble finding childcare so I could complete my school year after maternity leave. This is when Megan (MeMe) and Adam (Adi) came into our lives…Scott put an ad on SouthEast Texas.com…and we got our very own MEME! She and Adam are more than we prayed for…they got us through a hard time in our lives and now they are FAMILY! MeMe has helped me with the boys between college classes up until this last semester when she found out they were expecting their first child…and we can NOT wait to meet Duncan soon.

THEN…just when you think…well, Jeanifer has to stay busy keeping that house clean…uuuhhhmmm…NO! I like a clean house…as a matter of fact…I clean EVERYDAY. But do I “deep clean?” no…we were blessed when we move to Port Neches with a wonderful woman who helps us with the house once a week. Her name is Beatriz and she has a son close to Tyson’s age. Well, she just had a baby as well…and NOW a few hours every week she comes to the house and watches ALL FOUR boys together. Tyson & Baby Mike “play” with her two boys…sometimes it is just “Baby Mike” sometimes it is ALL four. So I even have help now…whenever Beatriz is not working (which it is a different schedule every week) she helps me with the boys. Sometimes I leave Baby Mike and take Tyson with me to do something special with just him…sometimes I go to the grocery store, dry cleaners, post office, PetCo, etc. (you know how it goes) and it is SO NICE to be able to go these things “kidfree” sometimes. WHAT A BLESSING!!!

Then we have friends who offer ALL the time to watch the boys so we can go out. (one day we are going to do that) we have Momma Chris (Scott’s mom) and Aunt Misty (Scott’s sister) who live about an hour away…and when Scott is out of town for days at a time…or we have the occasional overnight trip (that WILL happen one day) They take care of the boys for us. Tyson absolutely LOVES being with his cousins…and being a kid who did not grow up near any cousins…I LOVE seeing him with them.

So why am I saying all of this…because GOOD GRIEF! Some days I look around and think WHERE did the day go…and why do I feel like I am not getting ANYTHING done??? I am blessed beyond measure with HELP!!! And I am so thankful…I cannot IMAGINE how people raise young children without ANY help. You see we don’t live with family in town…and that really did scare me when we started “planning” to have children.

I didn’t know if I could do it by myself. I mean seriously?? am I really that much of a control freak?? Am I that selfish that I thought I would be the ONE to do it by myself? I am NOT! you see God has PROMISED that He will NEVER leave or forsake me.

Why am I saying all of this today? Scott and I have been working on this for a while, but, we just got back from a lawyers office so we could have our Last Will & Testament signed and notarized. For those who have done this…you probably know what thoughts and feelings this brings about…for those who have not done this…DO THIS! Especially if you have children…we owe it to them to not have to make these kinds of decisions. And we owe it to them to have everything taken care of so THEY can be taken care of. We never know what tomorrow may bring.

As I was dating and writing my signature 1,000 times…I was reminded again of October 26^th. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!!! Oh how I wish you were here! I wish you were here to kiss those grandbabies and teach them the things that only you can. I wish you were here to hug my husband. The man you always told me I would meet one day…the one you told me would be worth waiting for. Oh my goodness how he would make you SMILE! I miss your smile SO MUCH!!! You are the reason I am the woman I am today. I wish you were here, but I am not doing it by myself. God has surrounded me with people who love us so much…and your oldest grandson kisses EVERYONE and everything (the walls, the floor, Trigger’s hiney) he would give you SO MANY kisses. Scott takes care of me in a way that I never thought I would allow myself to be taken care of. I deserve this…and I just hope an pray everyday that I make him feel the same way. You would like him Momma. I knew it the day I fell in love with him. I cried that day too…because I wanted to call you so bad and tell you EVERYTHING!!! I am so blessed…but I miss you SO MUCH! I wish you were here to share all of this with me…but I am OK and I am NOT doing it by myself. Because God is GOOD…ALL THE TIME! This Christmas it will be 13 years since you’ve been gone and selfishly I just wish you were HERE to share this. I want so badly to tell Scott that the pain will GO AWAY after losing Poppa Mike so suddenly…but the truth of the matter is…it never fully “goes away” because we love you SO MUCH.

SO THANK YOU!!! Thank you Momma for making me the woman I am today. Thank you to ALL of our friends and family who HELP us…so we don’t have to do it by ourselves…and thank you Jesus for loving me so much and loving me in spite of me…I am not SuperMom…but I have been BLESSED to be a mother to two of the cutest boys in the world…and I gladly accept this gift and pray that I am atleast ½ them mother that my Momma was for me.

NOW! While Beatriz is watching all four boys (GOD love her) I will cook dinner…yes…I…will cook dinner…not a ready made throw in the oven dinner…but I REAL dinner…I think it will be hamburger steak…that can’t be TOO hard…and if I mess it up…there’s always Tropical Grill. (I can do this…I can do this….)

Happy Birthday Momma!

(I have struggled with sharing this...because it is MY HEART! but I feel like ONE person needs this...the rest probably haven't read this far) lol